A Rapper's Wife

I don't think that I have looked at this in the right fashion. I didn't anticipate that my husband loves music more than me. I'm a Rapper's wife. I pray everyday that this is broke. I'm not second to anyone. That's what he lead me on to believe. He cheats on me all the time...with Music. I don't even listen to it anymore...I can't stand music. My husband lies to me everyday...

Now his talking about how he wants to separate. He wants to have his wife to himself because he can't provide for her.

Our last argument was because I refused to have him sneaking into our house like I'm his two-bit whore. I refuse to be his Missus. I refuse to be his Music Incarnate. I refuse to let him sneak. In a way, I side-smile inside, because it makes me feel better that he's got caught in his affair. I told him that I knew what I signed onto but not the cheating.

He looked like he got smacked. Now, I'm the one that's wrong. The other part that I feel inside is that I don't want to lose him to another woman...not to a woman that does or doesn't exist. It's not fair.

He never defends me but Music is hurt, he goes to war against me. He defends her like she was carrying his child. I have become a liability. Music has conviced him that I have become a liability.

Her love and her pussy is better than mine. I can't compare. I never light up his eyes in anyway that Music does.

At first, I thought that he was copying a mutal friend, Courtney, but this is deeper. It was something that I joked about in the beginning but this is a joke that came true. Within months, Music warped his mind against me, should I pray against Music?

But he now sits and, does nothing but the thing is that when we are having sex we only do it from the back. There is no softness...no love...no nothing...he views me as whore. No someone that he purposed to...not someone that he loves. a liability.

When people told me not to be there, take care or love him. I did.

Now I feel that I should have listened. Triflin' was never something that I thought of towards my husband nothing that he was to deserve and, I said that I was going to be that in this realtionship but I thought that my husband was supposed to deserve something more. Lord, I can't believe that after months of marriage that he would treat me like this...

He thinks that if he leaves Music and him will have the perfect family. He thinks that he will have the privilege of seeing his children. But I know that he knows that he won't ....he can't feed me that wet dream like he fed me one about marrying him. Lord knows that I'm not perfect but he is tearing-up not only a marriage but his family...he own family that he always wanted...over another woman-metaphorically speaking-Music

Lord, please forgive me for what I'm about to do but he cheated first....